Sunday, November 4, 2012

Time to Heal

I'm another year older and I'd like to think that I am a bit wiser as well.
I had a wonderful Birthday with my girlfriend, Laura. We went to San Diego to spend a couple days by the sea. We also were blessed to go to La Costa Resort and Spa to see my favorite author and mentor, Marianne Williamson. She was a speaker, during a week long retreat with Deepak Chopra.

Before I left for this much anticipated mini vacation, I had a couple of significant things happen. I had sent a letter to Gene Combs, (the accomplice in Matt's murder) in response to a letter that he had written to me over two years ago. I am now ready to hear what Gene Combs has to say about that night horrible Sept night.

Ever since Matt's death, I have felt that this was NOT a case of Mistaken Identity. I also have so many questions still, in response to how Gene Combs, who is the ONLY one who went to the Police and turned himself in, was given a 15 to life sentence, and the driver received nothing. Without Gene Combs, we may still not know who shot Matt. I am asking myself, WHAT is it that I want from Gene Combs?

I have been given the opportunity to forgive some of the people directly and indirectly involved in Matt's death. This continues to be a long and difficult process but also extremely healing. I did not go see Gene Combs, who is in prison in San Diego. He sent another letter and asked me for a copy of the letter that he had written to me, over 2 years ago. I decided that this was not the time for me to speak to him.

I feel so grateful that I am allowing God to clear my mind and to heal my heart and to guide me. I don't want to MAKE things happen. I relinquish all control of this situation, to God. I am forever grateful to the many friends who continue to support me and my decisions. I will not get to have my son back, although I can have peace in my heart in the midst of our enormous and devastating loss.

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