Saturday, September 14, 2013

Scattered thoughts

I just posted beautiful quotes on both facebook pages. It helps me to try and focus my day on being positive and to really LIVE in each moment. I have been conditioning myself with positive affirmations for many years. Just to be clear, I am not always positive. Although, I try to live in a way that will not only help me but will help others to remember that We are All HERE for a purpose.

With that being said, I'm trying to find some purpose and meaning in things that make no sense. I am not naive and I do realize that there are some things that will never make sense. The murder of my son, being one of those things.

I received another letter in the PO box, from Gene Combs 2 days ago. The letter stated that his attorney advised him not to meet with me or answer any questions that I have regarding the night Matt was shot, until all of his appeals have run out. OK so now I can stop looking for flights to San Diego.

I do understand that Gene Combs is the one who turned in the three people responsible for Matt's death (Gene Combs, himself,  included). I never will understand how he was charged with murder and Nicole Stewart, the shooter, Henry Don Williams, pregnant girlfriend, also she was the driver of the getaway car,  and she never went to the police until she was arrested, was NEVER charged with a single crime?
 This is just one of the things that I will probably never know in my lifetime. So, How do I find purpose and meaning in this?

I try to focus on how to make things better for our young people. How to help these children who are born to people who live this life of no consequences for horrific crimes, to become responsible and productive people. These innocent children have no say in these situations. They are innocent and helpless.

We can all choose to live in a world of constant devastation, anger and pain. Or, we can choose to live in a world where we can help one another. There will always be difficult times and events in each of our lives. I believe that one of the reasons why we are HERE is to learn how to reach out a hand and help someone else. As this has been my experience. I am eternally grateful for the many, many hands that have continued to reach out to me and my family. My heart smiles from all of the love. I want to be able to do that for others. Thank you all for showing me how.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Violence begets more violence

I just sent a comment to the President.  Today marks the 5-year anniversary of my son, Matthew's murder. I asked the President to please not send any troops, or launch any weapons whatsoever, into Syria. Violence only begets more violence. I get it, I can SEE now. I understand Mahatma Gandhi's quote more than ever: An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. 

 I also understand that if I had tried to harm those who killed my son; I would only be creating more violence.
 Our family’s lives have been forever changed by Matt's death. His death has caused us to continue to move forward to help others in seeing that love and forgiveness can change lives for the better.

I am not sure if the President will ever see my comment, but I had to send it because I believe it. I am praying for the millions of families who have been completely devastated by murder, genocide and the horrors of violence in this world that we live in. To see these innocent babies murdered, is beyond any of our worst nightmares.
God, guide and comfort us all
 I do know that retaliating is not going to bring our loved ones back. What is it about some of us, in which we feel the need to show "others" how powerful we are by launching our own missiles, death and destruction on the perpetrators?  It doesn't work.
 Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.Albert Einstein

 I must also say that I have seen the beauty, the peace and the love, which has come from many of these same affected families, as they have decided to allow the light and love of God to shine through the darkness. Our daughters, Briana and Tea-rae are just two examples of this.

We will continue to ask for a miracle. I love what I read on pages 66 & 67 in Marianne Williamson’s book, A Return to Love: "If we think of ourselves as beings of this world, then the laws of scarcity and death, which rule this world, will rule us. If we think of ourselves as children of God, whose real home lies in a realm of awareness beyond this world, then we will find we are under no laws but God's." 

I know that I am a child of God and I have a purpose here.