Saturday, November 29, 2014

NOVEMBER 2014 What a month it has been!

First things First  I turned 48 years old on November 2nd. This is the first incredible event that happened. I had a wonderful birthday. The entire day and evening was shared with my awesome and amazing family and friends. I'm extremely grateful for all the LOVE that I have in my life.
Still my question is, how did I get to be in my late 40's? WOW, talk about sneaky. I am shocked to find myself here. Time really does move faster as I age. It's up to me to really LIVE in and CHERISH each and every moment. my48thbday
This brings me to the 3rd weekend in November. November 14th & 15th. I met Oprah Winfrey at her, The Life You Want Weekend Tour in San Jose. I had the amazing opportunity to tell her about Matt. This experience was definitely at the top of my bucket list. 
Matt believed he would meet Oprah after he was elected to the Fairfield City Council in 2007 at age 21. He never got the chance. He was murdered on Labor Day 2008. I could feel Matt's presence as Oprah ask about my t-shirt with Matt's face. I shared with her about Matt's passion and hope for our community and especially our young people. Don't ever give up on your dreams. MATT, YOU MADE IT TO OPRAH!
I made another important decision in November. I needed to change my attitude with our newly elected Solano county District Attorney. My being angry at her was not going to help our situation regarding Matt’s murderer. I apologized for my rude behavior and asked her if we could meet to talk?
When we met in her office on Nov. 17th, I was informed that she was unaware of the situation that happened between myself, Raymond and the killers girlfriend/wife/ex-wife, in the court hallway, following the Oct. 24th hearing. After telling her about what took place that day, Raymond and I were separated and we each had to give our statement regarding that hallway encounter, to the investigator. We will be back in court on January 16, 2015 THIS INSANITY CONTINUES……
I have had the opportunity to speak to a group of prison inmates serving life sentences at the California State Prison Solano, Vacaville. I was a little less terrified this last time I went. Most of these men are sincere about changing their lives, even though, they may never get out of prison. What I know to be fact for myself, is that I do not need to be behind bars to feel like I am imprisoned. What I’ve heard several times from incarcerated people is that they can feel FREE even though they are behind bars.
Here is a letter one of the inmates wrote to The Matt Garcia Foundation Several of these men have donated over $80.00 and 5 books of stamps! AMAZING! inmatedonations
Conclusion: It’s all a matter of perception. I must continue to be present within myself. Atone for my wrongs and help others always.
Last weekend I got to hang out with my two daughters. Our oldest daughter is getting married next summer. We went to a wedding fair in Pleasanton. We all had a great time. It was a beautiful day spent with my amazing daughters and their friends.2014teresa 498
Last Thursday was Thanksgiving. I am so thankful for all the amazing people, places and things in my life today and everyday. Our hearts hurt more during the holiday's as we miss our loved ones. We cherish the time we all spend with each other even more now. My beautiful sister came for a bit. Briana, Will and my grand dog Oreo came over too. Raymond and T helped serve the homeless at Mission Solano. We even stopped by my sister-in law Nichole’s house to visit with the family. It was great to see my sis-in-laws’, the kids and of course Mom and her family. TRULY GRATEFUL!
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Moving into December things look bright for our family. We are healthy and grateful I will continue to be grateful for the many blessings in my life. God, guide me to where you would have me go. Give me the eye’s to see, the ear’s to hear and the words to speak. Clear my mind and heal my heart. Amen

Monday, October 27, 2014

System of Insanity

My mind is still reeling from last Friday's court appearance. The blatant disregard for victims and their families by the people who are paid to be victim advocates and our elected official is simply insane. I can not wrap my mind around any of this!

I have been writing about all of this "JUSTICE" insanity for many years. I am sure I will be writing about it for many more to come.

Let me give a quick run down of last Fridays encounter at our second home...Solano County Courts.
The hearing was scheduled for 1:30PM in Dept. 15 room 202. We were there at 1:20PM sitting outside the courtroom waiting for the doors to be unlocked. It seemed strange that none of our other family members or friends were there waiting with us.

When the bailiff finally opened the doors at 1:30PM he mentioned that it was traffic court. What? Traffic Court? We then noticed that the name next to the courtroom door was NOT Judge Bowers. Omg! we are in the wrong place. Judge Bowers court room had moved to the third floor! Why didn't our Victim Advocate call us and tell us that the courtrooms have moved? Isn't that part of her job?

We rushed to get up the stairs since now we are late to the hearing. As we were going upstairs, we ran into our prosecutor who is also our newly elected Solano County District Attorney. I was justifiably irritated and voiced my irritation at not being informed of the court room move. Our prosecutor just gave me a dirty look and never approached me again. I still have not heard from her or our Court Victim Advocate! I am very disturbed by this.

The long drawn out court hearing date lasted less than 5 minutes and it was over until Jan. 16, 2015. I was livid. My heart was pounding and I wanted answers from our District Attorney. Well, she never came out to talk to us. In fact, after the hearing her investigator came out to inform us that if we were waiting for her she had to leave early and would not be able to talk with us. This is our Prosecutor! I believe this is the person who is supposed to inform us of what is going on. My heart hurts for my boy and for all of the many victims and families that are being victimized again by this insanity.

We sat in Judge Bowers new court room #303 for nearly an hour before he and the two attorneys came in. Then Matt's killer was brought in. The judge notified both parties that he will be unavailable from Nov thru Jan. 6th. WOW! The next hearing is set for Jan. 16, 2015. That makes it nearly an entire year that Matt's killer will have been able to have visits from family a couple times a week and he does not have to pay any restitution. In other words, he gets all the extra snacks and whatever else he wants because he is not held responsible because he is not actually in prison. While my son is dead and buried.

Here's the kicker, After the hearing, the woman who started the latest insanity, you know, the killers wife/girlfriend/ex-wife, came up to our family and apologized to us, for the harm that she has caused. She told us that the truth will be revealed on Jan. 16th. So, instead of putting an end to it all, right then and there we have to wait 3 months to have a hearing still. Our system of Insanity!

I decided that I needed to pick up my journals and begin to re-read my entries beginning back in April of 1999, when my cousin, Kathleen Sue O'Brien was murdered. I wanted to reacquaint myself with the treatment that our family received even way back then. Kathy was stabbed over 50 times with a sharpened screwdriver, Afterward her body was dumped onto Cherry Glen Road. Her murderer goes up for a parole hearing on Jan. 28, 2015 We will be there!

I feel powerless over the situation regarding my son Matt’s murderer, Henry Don Williams. Not only was Matt our son and a friend to many. He was an elected official in the city of Fairfield, CA. This fact also seems to mean NOTHING within our SYSTEM! The killers ex, signed a declaration last year, claiming that one of the murder trial jurors propositioned her for sex in exchange for a not-guilty vote. In 2008, the then-DA Paulson, elected not to charge the pregnant getaway driver, Nicole Stewart (heartbreaking) and now, years later, the murderer works the system through endless court dates/postponements.

 We, the family, take time off work to relive the nightmare of 9-1-2008, seeing this monsters face constantly, subjected to a judge who seems bothered by our irritation, and having to constantly call/email our DA/victim advocates because they don’t inform us. Lewis should’ve been arrested after the 9-19-14 hearing   (“no-show”) but WASN’T. When finally arrested after two missed court dates, she spent less than 24 hours in jail before being appointed a private attorney (the killer was also) and released.

 I was notified of this hearing 10 minutes before because our advocate “does not get her county emails on her phone.” I check court-connect constantly because I cannot count on those “helping” us. This is the treatment of victims and their families in our justice system.

 I in no way feel that we are the only victims of this system.  I HURT for the countless families who suffer also. Our hearts break for the families of the victims who are unable, financially, to attend the numerous hearings. Last Friday, the women in question came to us and apologized about everything. She says the truth will be told at the Jan. 16 hearing.

 After the hearing our prosecutor never did come out to speak with us. We also have not heard from our court appointed victim advocate since Sept. 29.   I’m grateful for the prayers and support of friends and know God has a plan, but I also believe that the public should be aware of the insanity/our justice system. If I could “Let go and Let God”, I would. But, my son is dead, murdered. I can’t bring him back. I CAN raise awareness to a system that victimizes victims. There’s not a minute that goes by when I don’t think about my boy. Matt never ages He will always be 22. Matt’s voice was silenced by a bullet to his head. I’m still here. I will not be silent. 

Just so you know, Not much has changed. And it won't change unless WE take a stand.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Every day brings new choices. ~ Martha Beck

My morning started with prayer and coffee. I'm very hopeful that the outcome of the hearing tomorrow afternoon will be the end to Matt's killer trying to get a re-trial. I understand desperate people do desperate things and that hurt people hurt people. I was that person as a young adult. It's time to move on Henry Don Williams.

In every moment of my life, I have choices. I can choose to be fearful and hateful or I can choose to 
breathe in the beauty that is all around me. So... in this moment I am choosing beauty and hope.
Life is too short to live in the negative. This does not mean that I will stop looking in to ways to change some of the insane things that are happening. It simply means that I will move in a way that does not harm myself or anyone else mentally, physically or spiritually. The choice is mine in every moment!

The gratitude that I feel in my heart for all of our amazing family and friends is what keeps us all moving forward. Thank you 

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

The sixth September without you

It was 6 years ago this morning, we were told by the doctors that you would not recover from the bullet that severed your brain stem. I could not believe what I was hearing. How could this be happening? Nothing could ever keep you down. You were filled with so much hope,energy and life. Now you lay there quiet and motionless.

Our hearts were forever changed that September. The grief that your sister's carry with them daily is hard for me to watch. I'm powerless! This fact haunts me. I can't help them and I couldn't help you.
 But we keep moving forward.

This year we went away with friends, to a cabin in the woods. Briana didn't want to go. I didn't like that we were not all together. We made the best of it. Dad, T and our friends took off to Calavaras Big Trees for the day. I decided to stay behind. I prayed, cried and painted some rocks to leave behind. I always leave something of Matt, wherever I go.

When we returned home, we were greeted with so many messages of love, thoughts and prayers from all our family and friends who have carried us for these past 6 years. Thank you! I have watched intently at how GOD blesses us in amazing ways. For all the beautiful people that HE continues to place in our lives perfectly, we are forever grateful.

Matt is no longer here physically but his beautiful spirit has never left us.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

The morning after ANOTHER hearing

 I want to take time to talk about ALL of the amazing, loving, supportive family and friends who have been here for us constantly. I appreciate each and every one of you so much. I can't express enough just how much your support, prayers and love mean to us. We love you all and thank you for everything!

We arrived yesterday at the Fairfield, Solano County Courthouse for "the hearing" which was schedule to take place at 1:30PM.
Yes, this same hearing that has been postponed since February. This same hearing that myself, Raymond, my Sister in laws', the convicted murderers girlfriend/wife and several others were subpoenaed to testify at. Yes, this same hearing that is to take place only because the convicted murderer's wife/girlfriend claims the juror propositioned her for sex, although she never mentioned this alleged incident until recently. This is the hearing that the convicted murderer is banking on to get himself a re-trial. This is the same hearing that the murderer's girlfriend/wife, who is the defenses star witness, DID NOT SHOW up to yesterday and testify for her man.

 It is the defenses burden of proof to show cause for a new trial. The girlfriend/wife was subpoenaed to be there and testify "under oath" AGAIN. To testify about what and how the juror allegedly propositioned her for sex in the court hallway 3 1/2 years ago.  She has already been sworn under oath, regarding what she said happened in the courthouse hallway. She swore then, that this juror propositioned her for sex in exchange for a not guilty vote by him.

Why didn't she show up for "THE HEARING" that could get her boyfriend/husband a possible new trial? Why did the judge set another date for her to show up to? Shouldn't this all be thrown out because she refused to show up and because it is the defenses burden to prove?

Is this how it all works? The convicted murderer who was sentenced to 50 years to life for 1st degree murder, in the state of California Court of  law, by 12 of his peers, over 3 1/2 years ago, has the right to continue to have hearings postponed, delayed, while we wait for his girlfriend/wife to show up to court even after she has been subpoenaed to be there? What if she doesn't show up again? Do they set another date?

Why did I have to call the D.A's office when I saw on court connect, that the convicted killer had filed 2 new motions? Why did I just find out on Thursday morning when I called them,on the day before "THE HEARING" that  the D.A investigators have not been able to locate the juror in question to serve him his subpoena? What the Hell is wrong with this system?

It's not just Matt's murderer or our so called, insurers of justice, that I am talking about here. I have continued to witness the injustices in which this system has poured out on to innocent victims and their families for many years now. I have witnessed my friends and family being re-victimized again and again by a "JUST" system. It is heartbreaking and let me add, very frightening to watch and be a victim of myself.

 My cousin Kathy was murdered here in Fairfield in 1999. She was stabbed over 50 times with a sharpened screwdriver. Her murderer was allowed to play games within our "system" for over 8 years before he was finally sentenced to 15 years to life in 2007. Matt was murdered in 2008. Here we still sit in 2014!

 The same statements that I still hear today is "well, at least he is in jail" Really? Is that supposed to comfort us? We have to constantly take time out of our lives, jobs, families to show up for these court dates that the murderer and his public defender have the constitutional right, to postpone for days, months, and years. How is that supposed to make us or any other victims or their families feel better?  It is all so Twisted! I'm so sorry Matt and the other countless victims of crime.

I feel like I could possibly be shunned by our " leaders" or in some kind of trouble for writing all of this. What does that say about our system that I would even consider that this could happen? What have I got to lose? I have been a law abiding citizen. I pay my taxes I vote and I have been a juror. We see it all the time, innocent people who voice their concerns and/or question the decisions or ethics of our Judges, DA's, authorities/leaders, are then scrutinized. Meanwhile, the criminals and law breakers seem to call the shots.
 God help us.

I'm so angry, sad, devastated, hurt and baffled by all of this. To see my daughter's cry and question why all of this allowed to happen when their innocent brother is dead because this convicted murderer decided to have an illegal gun and shoot Matt in the head, it's almost unbearable.

Why are we being talked to like we are stupid for not understanding this process of the law? Why isn't our prosecutor more aggressive? Why isn't she questioning any of this nonsense?  Why didn't she say something about how the subpoenaed defenses STAR Witness, the murderers girlfriend/wife, didn't show up and this entire fiasco should be dismissed? NOPE, Our prosecutor just agreed to another date 2 weeks from now.

 My daughter said to our prosecutor,  OK then,can you just do a re-trial, he will still be found guilty? Guess what our prosecutor said? She said, "Not necessarily". Wow! How are we supposed to have any comfort in our prosecutor with an answer like that? I would think that she would be very confident in her ability to prosecute this murderer, Again! Why would she say, Not necessarily? What is going on?

I will not stop speaking up about what I see in this backward, upside down and crazy system. I take responsibility for my actions and when I'm wrong I can say sorry. I will be mindful of my actions so that I don't make that same mistake again, I will try to do the next right thing for the next right reason. This is not what I witness in our justice system. No one wants to admit that they may have made a mistake or that they should have done something differently. It's always somebody else job or responsibility. They just say, "That's the law" or "We have done everything that we are supposed to do".

 Matthew, I am so sorry that this is the kind of justice that you are receiving for being an innocent victim.

Let us all be very mindful of who we vote into every office and then we must hold our leaders accountable from the very top on down.

Stay tuned I'm positive that there will be more insanity to write about real soon.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Injustice on so many levels

What is really going on here?

First of all, saying that the murder of my son was a case of mistaken identity, is just simply ludicrous.

Next is that the shooters pregnant girlfriend being the driver of the getaway car, SHE WAS NEVER CHARGED WITH ANY CRIME, Why is that? She also never told anyone what had happened until she was arrested, 2 weeks later, and still, she lied for several hours. And they say that they needed her testimony to convict the killer, but if that's the case, shouldn't she have been given immunity. Well, she wasn't given immunity because she was NEVER charged with any Crime!

Then of course next is the trial of the shooter. This is when the jurors and the general public, which also included the shooters new girlfriend, are all intermingled in the hallway at the Vallejo courthouse. So the girlfriend decides to speak to one of the jurors.
 Makes me wonder if his girlfriend planned this from the beginning?

 If our jurors had a separate place to recess to. that would have never happened! Again, I don't get it?

But wait, there is more, The judge decides that he WILL NOT replaced the juror in question even though there are 2 alternates! I can't wrap my mind around any of this?

And then the appeal process begin. And you guessed it...The killer is claiming, 2 1/2 years after the alleged incident, that his girlfriend/wife was propositioned by the juror, who by the way, became the jury foreman at the trial.  Huh?

Of course the appellate court wants the juror issue brought back to Solano County to be heard by a Judge for possible juror misconduct.

Here we are, 3 years and 4 months after the murderer was sentenced to 50 years to life
The killer has been here in the Solano County jail since Feb. where is gets regular visits from his family. He gets to continually ask for delays. He has even decided to represent himself twice now. Today he wants to AGAIN get rid of his public defender.

Oh Yeah I almost forgot...the public defender had me subpoenaed for today's court hearing. REALLY? Oh and the best part is that the process server gave me my husbands subpoena too. Umm I don't think that is Legal? When I phoned my advocate to ask about the legality of this, she didn't know? Wow!

There are so many things that are clearly NOT RIGHT in this entire fiasco!

Oh yeah, when I called my advocate yesterday morning to find out about the 2 new motions that the murderer filed.and what that will mean for us at court today, she mentioned that investigators have been unable to locate and serve a subpoena to this juror in question?
Yep, I Just found that out yesterday!  Did I mention that I called THEM they DIDN'T Call me!

 To top it all off, our newspaper decides to do a jailhouse interview with Matt's killer! Wow, yeah lets give this murdering sociopath more Attention. REALLY? Again, WHY?

We will be there in that courtroom again today. Wearing our Matt shirts and praying for the best but also knowing that this system is so broken. People tell me it's not a broken system its the people that are broken? Huh? I say, these people would not be able to do all of these things if the system worked.

We will keep moving forward and speaking out for change in our laws and the way that the constitution protects the accused and convicted but continues to victimize the victims and their families!

We love you Matt. I am so sorry that this happened to you baby. We  REFUSE to ALLOW this Murderer to take any more of us!

I have more to point out but I have to get ready for court now. God, Please Clear our minds and Heal our Hearts.