It's me again. As my facebook memories popped up on my feed, I can't help but scoff at a particular memory that happened on this day in 2014. I had posted a picture of the very first restitution check I received from Matt's murderer. Matthew was murdered in 2008. There is NOT ANY monetary (RESTITUTION) ANYTHING, that could or would, EVER bring a sense of "JUSTICE" to a family who's loved one has been murdered.
But, here we are! The restitution checks ranging in amounts of $32-$50 show up randomly. Sometimes, a year or more will pass without anything and at other times two checks will be mailed within a year period.
Each time, I would open one of these checks, I literally felt the acid in my stomach start to make its way up to my throat. I know that I don't have to open them. I don't even have to accept them, but still, Its like I can't help myself at the same time. I want to see what amount of work Matt's killer did or didn't do. I will know by the total of the check. Its kind of crazy, I know, but my child is dead, it's all I have. SO.... Crazy it is!
After a while of feeling the disgust these checks brought me, I made the decision to use these monies to help with The Matt Garcia Foundation in whatever small ways it can. Using the money to do good has helped me, somewhat.
All of this, is MY experience. This is what is happening in mine and my family's world! I don't ever want my own experiences to be perceived as worse than, nor more important than, anyone else's. Murder is HORRIFIC! The devastating ripple effects of murder never ends. Loss is hard... for EVERYONE!
I know that there are millions of victims' families who receive NOTHING. Many murdered victims families still are left with not ever knowing who killed their loved one(s).
I am only able to move forward in this crazy never ending nightmare because of the amazing love and support from family and friends. I am encouraged to write and talk about the experiences that I and our family has endured, as well as, the many experiences that we have been blessed by.
An added disheartening part of this horrific process, is telling another family member of a murdered victim(s), that there really is "NO JUSTICE". No matter what happens, we are left without our loved one(s) because of violence perpetrated by another with no regard for human life. This is a FACT that can not be disputed!
The consequences for those persons responsible vary GREATLY! Some perpetrators will serve no time at all, some are never apprehended and are free to commit more crimes against humanity, while some others, whom are given lengthy sentences for MURDER or their role in a murder, are often let out early. There are also some who are repeat offenders, and learn how to work the "system" from the inside of an institution.
Several years ago, Matt's killer claimed that his girlfriend was propositioned for sex, by the jury foreman, in exchange for a Not guilty vote, during his trial for the murder of our Matt. I actually did witness the girlfriend talking with the juror. I immediately told our prosecutor that we wanted that juror removed from the jury. I had been a juror before. All jurors are read the rules, several times, for serving on a jury. Our prosecutor then informed the judge of what had just transpired in the hallway during a recess.
The juror was summoned into the "closed courtroom" where only the judge, both attorney's, and the juror in question, were allowed. The judge decided that nothing criminal had happened and the juror would stay on as the jury foreman in the murder trial of the monster who took our Matt. Again, my mind was blown away by the judge allowing this juror to stay on the jury and even more-so, as the jury foreman.
We spent years in and out of court because of what had happened in that Vallejo Courthouse hallway years earlier. At one point Matt's killer had "decided" that he would represent HIMSELF (by the way, he has done this several times). Matt's murderer was going to be able to question myself and Raymond on the stand! I can't make this stuff up. It really happened and continues to happen more than you know.
After a year or more, the killer changed his mind and decided to have a public defender appointed to him, once again. All of which causes more delays and postponements. These are all the rights of the ALREADY convicted and sentenced murderer. This was just one of his many ploys throughout these last 14 years.
After years of the killers ploy to be re-tried due to juror misconduct, failed. We knew we had to do something to help prevent another family from going through this nonsense.
We talked to whomever would listen and searched to find some solutions by way of policy change within our courthouses. We asked that jurors be separated from the public in the hallways of courthouses during trials. It was so frustrating to know that if the courts had already had a policy in place, during Matt's killers murder trial, the murderers girlfriend and the juror would NOT have had access to each other in the hallway that day. This policy would have also saved countless hours and lost wages for our family, the courts, tax-payer money, and heartache. We are AGAIN, not the only family that this has happened to.
We felt as though we had conquered a huge obstacle when the new juror pathway policy was agreed upon. Our so-called victory was short lived. I felt defeated, once again, being told that MONEY would not allow for changes to be implemented in already existing courthouses. We were assured that this policy change, to separate jurors from the general public in courthouse hallways during recesses, will be implemented when new courthouses are built. I am still holding out hope.
I have learned to shut off my mind, during some of these times; If I didn't, I would go absolutely CRAZY! If I wrote about ALL of the ploys and schemes, over the last 14 years, brought on by Matt's murderer. the pages would fill a large file cabinet.
I have several book shelves filled with my own journals. This has been my only way of letting out the injustices that I feel. I write about my thoughts and feelings after every single court hearing.
It is my purpose in this life, to not only help myself and other victims' families, but to also bring awareness, to the general public. Incarceration doesn't mean that the convicted murderer is stopped from exercising, "THEIR RIGHTS"! Truthfully though, most people who are NOT living the nightmare, of a murdered loved one, really DON'T want to KNOW. I can't blame them...I wish with all my heart and soul that, WE DIDN'T KNOW what Really can and does Happen to victims' families and loved ones after the verdict of "Guilty" is rendered.
I remember yelling and crying to Valerie Dodini, her son was also murdered. After he was killed she became an attorney to help other victims' family members. She would repeat herself over and over again, telling me and all of us who attended the Homicide Survivors Group, "the only way ANY OF THIS WILL CHANGE is with an amendment to the constitution for Victims' Rights"!
I would say "but, we have Marcy's Law". I soon learned, that regardless of Marcy's Law, many times I was not notified of court hearings. Marcy's Law, the California Victims' Bill of Rights Act of 2008 was enacted by voters as Proposition 9 through the initiative process in the November 2008 election (2 months after Matt's murder) https://www.cdcr.ca.gov/victim-services/marsys-law/
On many occasions over the years, we were NOT notified of a court hearing in which Matt's murderer attended. Not being notified of a hearing, is absolutely a violation of Marcy's Law. I WANTED to attend every court hearing and according to Marcy's Law, I should have been notified of EVERY SINGLE ONE, NO MATTER WHAT!
There are never ANY consequences for us not being notified under "Marcy's Law". We received a lot of excuses and apologies. You know the ones, "everyone is understaffed".
I went so far as to offer my own time and energy to call victims' families, to no avail. I wanted to let those families who wanted to know, about any and all upcoming hearings.
I knew then, that I would have to advocate for myself; checking the solano county court connect website daily, to see if Matt's perpetrators had any upcoming hearings.My talking about the violations of Marcy's Law wasn't going to change what was happening. I was no longer waiting to read in the Daily Republic about a hearing that had already happened and i had missed because my advocate didn't notify me. All because they are understaffed.
My fingers cant keep up with my thoughts about all the injustices or remembering what we have been through and are still going through just in the justice system alone after Matt's murderer was convicted in 2010 and sentenced to 50 years to life, for 1st degree murder.
His sentence was changed because he was 32 years old when he shot and killed our Matt, which means, he will "AGE OUT" in prison. The "Elderly Parole Program" means that Matt's killer is eligible for parole in September of 2028; That is only 5 years from now!
My son, Matthew Terrahl Garcia deserves more than what has been given. All Victims' of Crime deserve MORE!
