Where I find serenity

It was suggested that I write from exactly where I am at this moment.

I’m here in our serene backyard, listening to the multiple wind chimes I have placed in random spots on our deck, in the garden, and even in the trees. The different chime sounds bring me peace. There is also a slight and somewhat cool breeze on this 87-degree May afternoon.

I can get distracted easily by the sounds of all the birds. I get to watch the blue jays bathe in the bird bath I have placed back here. I tell Ansel that with all the squirrels, birds, occasional cats, dragonflies, and butterflies that come to visit our backyard, it is kind of like a little zoo. I’m forever grateful to have this peaceful place to retreat to after a hard or even not-so-hard day. It is simply my healing place.

When I was considering taking some time off to write my story, somewhere away from home, by myself, I was reminded that this is the perfect place. My own backyard sanctuary. It really doesn’t get much better than this. The 20-plus years of memories I have in this backyard seem endless. We have changed it so many times over the years also. For many years, I had my own little labyrinth that Raymond and I began to construct before Matt was killed. It took a while longer to finally complete it after he died. I knew I needed a place to come and meditate, but after he was murdered, it felt so hard to continue moving forward with the thought of ever being able to meditate again. But we did complete the labyrinth, and I walked it hundreds of times in meditation.

During COVID, I realized that we needed a cool spot to share with our little grandson, Ansel. Raymond was able to get a play-set from a family in Benicia for free, and it was exactly what our backyard needed now. Raymond also found some turf really inexpensively due to the fact that it came from a soccer field. It has white and bright yellow lines throughout, but we don’t care. It just enhanced Ansel’s play-set and made the ground softer and safer for our little guy.

I have spent many hours back here painting rocks for people and my garden. I even painted the scallops that line the garden. We have had so many parties in this amazing space too. Ansel has his annual Halloween party back here each year. He loves it. We love it too. Our friends who now are grandparents come as well as Briana and TeaRae’s kids and friends’ kids. Recovery parties happen yearly back here too. I feel totally blessed to have this space to share with others and also to keep for myself.