Scared

 Each morning I wake up between 5:00 and 6:00 AM. I'm not sure how many years ago that this habit began. I do know that I equate it with being old. I must also mention that I go to bed anywhere between 7:00 and 8:00 PM nearly every night. Again, I equate this with being old.  I don't even know why I started to write this but titled it SCARED? Maybe, i'm distracting myself from my real feelings AGAIN? This is one of the many things that I do to myself. It is also a Habit. 

Maybe, I have ADHD? Or, Maybe, I just don't want to "go there"? 

But, the thing is, I  am Always "THERE"...SCARED! 

I have been scared for as long as I can remember. I have always had this overwhelming scared feeling that lives within my body, mind and soul. 

The fear that resides within me vibrates higher at different times. When the fear that dwells within me vibrates at its highest I stay in my bed. As I am sitting here typing in my meditation room, I can smell my incense burning. The aroma helps to quiet my mind. The incense is a reminder for me to "be still" and allow myself to just relax. 

The one for sure thing that I know about myself is that I am easily distracted plenty dramatic.