It's Monday, December 18th, 2017. I am currently sitting up nestled in my warm, cozy bed drinking coffee while thinking about my daughter, Briana who is about ready to give birth to our first grandchild. My heart is overflowing with excitement and joy at the thought of what our lives will look like on this beautiful new adventure.
Briana's due date is Thursday, 12/21/17 but for some reason, today's date; 12/18/17 has been on my mind for weeks now.
I texted Briana this morning to ask her how she is feeling. She feels like she is going to be pregnant forever. I remember feeling that way three separate times; Matthew, Briana, and Tearae. Anyway, Ansel will get here when he is ready.
Saying this may sound kind of weird, but I have a picture in my mind of what I think Ansel will look like. I did the same thing when I was pregnant with our youngest daughter, Tearae. My prediction with her was reasonably accurate. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not psychic, although I do have a strong intuitive side.
Here is how I envision Ansel's features; Olive colored skin, dark hair and lots of it, round face, small nose, beautifully defined heart-shaped lips (just like his Aunt TeaRae), big brown eyes, long fingers, and toes and a little pudgy body. He is simply adorable! : )
The holiday season has been rough for our family since the murder of our son, Matt in September of 2008. My mother passed away on December 23rd, 2011 which made this month even more difficult.
Ansel's anticipated December arrival has filled our family with a beautiful sense of hope and joy.
We are grateful to our beautiful daughter Briana and her fantastic husband William for choosing to bring this precious baby boy into all of our lives.
The emptiness that we feel for our loved ones who are not here to celebrate with us will never go away. We can't change what has happened. We are not able to go back and undo the devastation. I do believe though that our loved ones are helping to ensure beautiful new adventures and special memories for us to cherish.
For this, I am eternally grateful.
Thank you, God, for clearing my mind and healing my heart
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