Taking Radical Responsibility
For so long, I used to dread even thinking about what it really meant to take responsibility for my life. Responsibility felt heavy, almost like a punishment. It was easier to deflect, to find fault in someone else, to point the finger away from me.
I can still picture myself standing in line at the grocery store, growing angry as the clerk chatted with the customer ahead of me. I felt impatient, inconvenienced, like my time was somehow more valuable. Yet how many times have I been the one who ran late to appointments, making others wait? How many times did I excuse it away, while demanding grace from others?
It’s humbling to admit the double standards I lived in. I’ve written angry emails to companies because I felt I wasn’t treated “accordingly.” But have I ever written myself a letter holding me accountable for the times I treated others unfairly?
There’s a saying I love: When I point one finger at you, three fingers are pointing back at me. That truth hits hard.
The Shift
Something powerful happens when I stop blaming and start owning. When I take 100% responsibility for the way my life is turning out, I naturally have fewer issues with what others do—or don’t do.
When I want to blame my procrastination on jobs, people, or appointments, I have to remind myself: I am the creator of my time. If I want something done, it’s on me to make it happen. Period.
This shift has been both painful and liberating. Painful, because it forces me to look at the patterns I’ve created—the excuses, the wasted energy, the years I spent convincing myself someone else was holding me back. But also liberating, because if I created those patterns, I can also create new ones.
Owning My Truth
For over 16 years I told myself, “If it wasn’t for this other person, my book would be done.” That was complete and utter bullshit. The truth is, it wasn’t anyone else’s responsibility, it was mine. My writing, my healing, my dreams.
Taking responsibility is not about shame. It’s about empowerment. It’s about standing in the truth that if I want something different, I must do something different.
And today, I feel grateful. Grateful that I get to take responsibility for my life. Grateful that I no longer waste as much time blaming others for the choices I failed to make.
Responsibility isn’t a burden—it’s a key. It unlocks freedom. It puts the pen back in my hand. And it reminds me that I am not at the mercy of what happens to me. I am the author of my story.