These dates, September 1st and September 2nd are forever etched on my soul. Matthew was shot on the night of September 1st, labor day 2008. We spent the night on the floor of the ICU visitors lounge. September 2nd our family was ushered into a small room where we were told that Matthew would not recover from the gunshot wound to his brain. I only remember hearing screams after that. I'm not sure who's screams they were. Mine, our two daughter's, Raymond, Grandma, or all of us!
This was a real life nightmare that I wasn't able to wake up from. Who would do this to Matt? Why would anyone do this to him? Those questions were answered weeks later.
When I look back now, I see that we all felt the same. It was a nightmare and none of us would ever wake-up from this.
Here we are today; eleven years later. So much has changed. Our daughter's are grown, amazing, women with families of their own. They have learned how to navigate through all of this in their own ways.
Raymond and I love being grandparents. We, our family, and friends, continue to walk forward each day, striving to keep Matt's dream alive by supporting youth, which will help to stop crime, and ultimately strengthen our community.
Focusing on the good doesn't mean I am in denial of what is happening around me. Focusing on the good doesn't mean I don't feel anger and rage. Focusing on the good means that I try to find the good in situations. I learn to change my perception of things. When I do this, I am able to see Good. When I don't do this, I am filled with a sense of hopelessness and contempt.
I am reminded of the awesome people that have been in our lives and those who have come along this journey with us. We have been extremely blessed with so much love and support over the years. How can I not focus on that? The beautiful calls, cards, texts, and posts that we receive every September 1st and 2nd is incredible, to say the least.
There is good all around us. I get to choose what to focus on. I think about what Matt would want us to do. He would most definitely want us to focus on the good. He also would want us to stand up for that which is not good. So, this is where we are today! Standing up for that which is not good while focusing on the good that is all around us. <3
